Sunday, July 23, 2017
Naaticharaami - explained
Shri Anil asked: Padanamaskaram Swami!
Is polygamy a sin? Kindly please analyze 2 cases: 1) Draupadi married to 5 pandavas and 2) Holy Mohammad married to several women (13 wives).
Swami replied: This issue is related to pravrutti or justice and injustice involved in worldly life. Following justice and avoiding injustice are also the commandments of God and hence the background basis of pravrutti is nivrutti only. The justice is made clear by certain positive rules (Vidhi Dharma) and the injustice is negated by certain negative rules (Nishedha Dharma). To speak truth is positive and not to speak a lie is negative rule. Apart from these two types, there is a third type of justice, which is called as dharmasukhshma (application of rule on analysis). If a rule is applied in emergency to save your life, it is called as exception in emergency (apatdharma). In this way, the rule varies within the marginal boundaries of justice from place to place, from time to time and from occasion to occasion. To speak a lie to protect the life of a good person is justice and in such occasion if speaking truth results in the killing of a good person, speaking truth is injustice and a sin.
Following justice (dharma) in earnings (artha) and in sex (kama) gives salvation (moksha) to any soul (apyarthakamou…dharmaayaiva). Your question is related to the justice in the sex. As already told, justice varies from time to time, place to place and situation to situation provided the change is within the marginal boundaries of the zone of justice. The change should not enter the zone of injustice. The bus can change its route within margins of a road depending on the direction of opposite vehicle, but, should not cross the margins and run into houses!
The Veda says that in doing sacrifice called Atiratra, the performer shall see the planet called Shodashi. The same Veda says in another statement that the performer need not see such planet (atiraatre shodashinam…, naatiraatre…). This means variation of the rule by moving to exact opposite side is prescribed by the same scripture. Justice (dharma) is activity (karma) and hence can vary. God (Bramha) is an entity and will never vary as said by scripture (kriyaayaam vikalpah natuvastuni). Here, variation to the extent of exact opposite side is allowed since seeing the planet is not very important since by it no injustice is done resulting in the pain and violence of a living being.
In the case of the function of marriage between a male and a female, justified points are to be observed:-
i) The couple is swearing in the name of God, that none shall deviate from the other in the sexual activity (Naaticharaami).
ii) There shall be no mental agony for anyone of the couple due to such deviation because violence is the highest injustice.
iii) The main aim of the marriage is to extend humanity (prajaayai gruhamedhinaam, prajaatantum maa...).
iv) This shall not mean that re-marriage is allowed if no issues are born. It depends on the level of the mind of the couple. If the couple is totally devoted to God (nivrutti), it is never worried about the issues because the Veda clearly says that one cannot reach God by issues (na prajayaa). If the level of the mind of the couple is of the level of lower pravrutti only, re-marriage was allowed in the ancient time provided both come to understanding without any pain. In the present time, artificial insemination, incubation etc., are available in the place of re-marriage for the sake of issues. Based on some other circumstances also re-marriage was allowed provided both consult mutually without a trace of pain and there is total lack of cheating and violence.
v) This again does not mean that having sex with others (wife or husband) is justified provided the other partner is ignorant of this illegal activity because due to ignorance pain is always absent. This becomes a sin because the person has broken the swearing done in marriage before God and God is pained for breaking the promise done before Him as witness.
vi) Re-marriage in certain special situations is allowed provided the other partner has full consent without any force. In the present law also, re-marriage is allowed if the first wife gives in writing that she is constantly ill and somebody is needed for her service, mental illness of the life partner, change of religion etc. The scriptures say that one shall re-marry if the issues are not found for ten years (aprajaam dashame varshe). The scripture also says that the re-marriage for a lady is allowed in five situations (death, sainthood, neutrality of gender, missed and never found and becoming immoral – panchasvaapatsu…patiranyovidheeyate). Such a re-marriage for man or woman is allowed provided the mental state is in need of desire for sex or issues. Sex is a biological need like hunger, thirst, sleep etc. Instead of remaining unmarried for external hypocrisy, it is better to re-marry and keep limitation.
vii) Polygamy or a polyandry is justified based on the special factors involved in a specific situation. Consent of the other life partner without any pain is the most important point since such point alone gives the birth of a sin. However, illegal sex in secrecy is also a sin, since it gives pain to God, who happened to be the witness of the marriage. Hence, re-marriage in public (open atmosphere) without any secrecy is justified provided such re-marriage has the support of the first life partner and logically acceptable factors agreed by God. Such an open re-marriage without hurting the life partner supported by specific conditions of the situation is also agreeable to God and can’t be treated as a sin. Draupadi did not have illegal and secret sex with the other brothers after marrying Dharmaraja. Mohammed also married again openly and did not have illegal sex secretly with others. He must have definitely taken the consent of already married wives and other acceptable supporting factors. The author of the constitution of such a great religion can’t do injustice.
viii) The scripture allows re-marriages in the case of a king in view of the inter-continental peace through relationship that avoids wars between kingdoms (raajaanobahuvallabhaah). Non-violence of the entire society than an individual is the highest justice in this concept.
ix) Even illegal sex without marriage was allowed to be justified provided such activity is with the consent of all scholarly elders. Sage Vyasa had illegal sex with the widows called as Ambika and Ambalika to extend the race of the dynasty of king Kuru. The mother-in-law of the widows and the mother of sage Vyasa requested sage Vyasa for this on the advice of scholars of ethics. This is not the usual secret sex with widows.
x) Lord Krishna has secret sex with married Gopikas in the midnights in Brundavanam forest for two years. This cannot be justified on the single point that the husbands of Gopikas were ignorant of this due to deep sleep in midnights. This single point cannot make this secret affair justified because it is against the commandment of God, who is Krishna Himself! Krishna killed Shishupala and the last allegation against Shishupala was that Shishupala had illegal sex with the wife of king Babhru. After leaving Brundavanam in His 18th year (infact blooming youth starts from 18th year), He never had such illegal sex with any other girl or lady. As a king and based on special circumstances, He had sex with girls married by Him only throughout His life. Some devotees desired married life with God in the previous births and God fulfilled their desire by these marriages. If He had sex with Gopikas based on lust due to youth, He should have continued such activity in the later part of His life also (especially in the blooming youth after 18th year) and should not have killed Shishupala on such allegation. This total background is totally different from pravrutti. All these Gopikas were sages doing penance for God in their previous millions of births. Their attachment to God is judged by the detachment from worldly bonds appeared subsequently and spontaneously. The three strongest worldly bonds (eshanas) are money, issues and life partner. Donating butter allotted for their children to Krishna speaks about the detachment from money and issues. Attachment to God through dance neglecting their life partners speaks about the detachment of bond with life partners. Hence, this is only a test conducted by God before giving the certificate of degree, which is greater than even the highest degree in the spiritual path. The highest degree is becoming one with God (equality with God) by becoming Human Incarnation. But, Gopikas became the masters of God placed in Goloka above His abode or Brahmaloka. This has no influence of external physical factors because Gopikas were black and were also not beautiful. This shall be understood as pure nivrutti and there is no trace of pravrutti in this topic. Understanding the Bhagavatam in right sense is the test for spiritual scholars (vidyavataam bhaagavate parikshaa). Rama is the perfect example for pravrutti, who confined to Sita alone throughout His life. Sita is a similar character confining to Rama throughout her life. Krishna stands as the perfect example for Nivrutti also, Who is beyond justice and injustice (pravrutti) indicating the spiritual path of single and total attachment to God (sarvadharmaan… Gita). Leaving this one special situation of Gopikas, Krishna behaved exactly like Rama only in the rest of entire life. Hence, Krishna supported pravrutti like Rama as the general rule for any soul (voting for justice against injustice) after showing the most rarest example of nivrutti in the case of Gopikas (voting for God against even justice).
At lotus feet of Swami